Grump.

I had a few minor irritations to deal with this past weekend – very minor. Mostly people just being people. But lately those little irritations can really get under my skin. As I’ve gotten older, I find myself losing patience with people so very quickly, and it’s not a good thing.

I’m not proud to say that sometimes I can be pretty rough on my loved ones. I want things done a certain way and I’m very much an “ugh-just-let-me-do-it” person. Nobody likes that person. I need to develop a little patience and let people do things their way because I’m not helping them, and I just get irritated in the process. Enter Negative Nelly, the party pooper. Some days I have a hard time pulling off my Negative Nelly nametag. One small thing will ruin my mood and leave me mopey or irritated for hours. Not healthy.

I’ve formulated a new goal : Be Patient. Be Positive.

I’m realizing that an important aspect of positivity is staying in the present. This sounds like a new-age platitude, but has real-world implications for a person like me;  it’s a reminder not to worry about things that happened an hour ago, a day ago, a week ago. Those moments are over, can’t be redone, and shouldn’t be fixated on. This means worrisome emails. Misunderstandings with friends. Problems in the shop. These things should be promptly dealt with when they happen, and then I should move on and not worry needlessly.

Staying in the present also means – this is a big one for me – not projecting. When I encounter a small problem I often find myself envisioning huge future ramifications of ridiculous consequence. I take that molehill and, boy, do I add re-bar and concrete. Things really never work out as badly as I had imagined, and the flood of resultant relief is a sharp reminder that oh-my-gosh my projection was out of control. Making an effort to stay in the present would have saved me a lot of worry and stress.

So, a new goal for positivity and patience. I’m going to try to focus only on what is in my present. I’m going to remind myself that things are going to be just fine.  I’m going to let people be themselves and do things their way without interfering. I’m going to keep searching for the silver linings.  Most importantly, I will try to stop being a grump.

Finding the silver lining in life’s changes

Life is good. Life is easy.  Everyone is healthy, and your relationships are sailing along smoothly.  And then one morning you awake with a vague sense of dread.

At first, you think perhaps you’ve forgotten something silly: an overdue library book, a two-day-old load of whites quietly moldering away in the washer.  After several days, you feel the sensation morph into an uncomfortable realization that a change is coming.  You can feel it in the air – your bones – in your sleep; Waiting for the other shoe to drop.  A career change? A move? Family issues?

The handy thing about that uncomfortable waiting? When something bad happens, you’re ready for it. You breathe a sigh of almost-relief.

Almost.

Deepak Chopra

We are there right now — facing career changes AND a move! My husband and I are young and childless and free to change our scenery at any time. We never seemed to put down strong roots in our current location, and we plan to head for a sunnier town that has family and some fresh ocean air.

While we search for jobs from afar, the two of us are getting to spend the most time together we have Ever Had.  I am reminded that I married a helpful, loving man with a snarky sense of humor that had been buried away under loads of stress.  His job had him working so many hours and he would come home late and spend his off day trying to decompress.  With newly found free time on our hands, we are cooking dinner, having deep conversations about our future  and going for long walks together.

Yesterday as we enjoyed our town’s greenway, we came to a natural lull in the conversation. A comfortable silence enveloped us as we walked amid a tunnel of trees, the sounds from the picnic area  hushed by the canopy of leaves.  I fell a few steps behind and watched my husband stride forward with purpose, and I felt a flood of gratitude and peace.

Just as I knew before that something bad was coming, now I feel that we are finally headed in the right direction.

The silver lining.